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I contradict myself all the time.

For example, at the beginning of the post I may say that I do not want to badmouth anyone. If you ever read a post something similiar to this, trust me, I am LYING. Before you know it, in the next few lines, I shall be badmouthing this particular person.

Maybe I was born with it. Maybe all this contradicting thing has built over the years.

Anyways, I'm utterly disappointed. In MYSELF.

I have no idea whether it's because of my low self-esteem or something, but something about this layout is not quite right. It's too plain, that is. And it's supposed to be a layout based on my favourite movie. WHAT THE FREAK. HOW CAN I PRODUCE SUCH A SLOPPY PIECE OF WORK WHEN IT'S BASED ON MY FAVOURITE MOVIE?

When I get my domain, I shall make another layout on Two Weeks Notice again. Nice, fanciful one. It can be simple too, just so long I make it look PRESENTABLE. And my presentable standards are very high.

I know yes, I'm a FREAK DESPERADO. I must go out on half-days or I'll just die. THE POINT IS, IF I DON'T GO OUT ON HALF-DAYS, I MAY NEVER GET TO GO OUT FOR LIKE, TILL THE END OF THE EXAMINATIONS. THAT'S ANOTHER MONTH.

Pathetic, isn't it?

I go out less than 5 times in a year with my friends. My best friend is my dear computer. My best friend GIVES OUT RADIATION. Yet, my MSN is stored in this best friend.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. I wonder if I have a life. I talk crap. All rubbish. Talk all about wanting to get A1s for everything at the beginning of the year. When they handed me the goal setting thingy, all my goals were Al.

HA-HA. A1. If it was so easy to get, I'd have my OWN computer, my OWN domain, my OWN Miss Congeniality CD.

Apparently I care too much about what others want, but no one cares about what I want.

My wishlist is there for display. To rot after a few days.

Too bad for my teachers, but because I'm depressed tonight, they DO NOT get anything from me at all tomorrow. Too bad, but in the first place, I don't think they even care about my presents. I'm not a model student, a teacher's pet, a favourite student, anything. A cheap paper card less will make no difference.

If I become happier tomorrow, they might get a present on Friday.

I still remember you, you SICKENING FREAKISH Chinese teacher who REJECTED my present IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS. You're lucky I didn't tell you to go and die. It's been 5 years, but let me tell you, wagaligong, I REMEMBER YOU! I remember your name till this day, and I may still remember it when I'm 90. If I see you on the streets I'm going to throw ROTTEN EGGS at you. Teachers like you DO NOT deserve my respect.

I pity the students you are teaching now. They must be SUFFERING.